It's been awhile since I've written anything.  Guess it's time for an update...

Finally got off my lazy butt and went to the Dr about the depression I've been feeling since, oh about Dec-Jan.  I'm on my 5th day of taking an anti-depressant.  Starting to feel some of the side effects they told me were likely until my body adjusted.  So, at least I know the meds are going into my system.  No real improvement on the mood yet though.  I was told it could be about 2 weeks before I started seeing difference there.  It's frustrating.  I still feel pretty down.  And now I feel dizzy/nauseous/panicky on top of it.  Excellent.  Just gotta hang in there.  I know once the meds start doing their job, I'll feel a lot better.  It's just hard.  And I'm tired of complaining about it.  I feel myself pulling away from people.  I just want to be left alone until I get this all sorted out.  I'm sure it's all in my head and not nearly as noticeable as I feel like it is.  But, I'm really self conscious about how "non-present" I feel when I'm around people.  I feel zoned out and spacey.  And I feel like my bad mood will be taken the wrong way or personally.  And it's exhausting to socialize.

I went to an information session for Cal Baptist's grad and credential program.  I got a lot of good info, and turned in an application.  Although it was a struggle to motivate myself to go, I was glad I went because I really want to keep moving forward with my plan to go back to school.  And, as whacked out as this sounds... I feel like it is important for me to keep goals and things I want to do on my calendar.  With working through this depression, I feel like it's important for me to keep having reasons to push through.  Goals to meet.  Things to experience.  And then, when I do finally kick my bad mood's ass, I won't feel like I got behind because of it.  Just gotta keep truckin' along.